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The Future
Sunday, September 29, 2002 - 10:11 AM
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The picture on the right is an image created by Steven Stahlberg. He is a great artist, and some of his 3d work is stunning. At one point, I wanted to be as good as that. These days I don't know what I want to do in my future. I attend college to get a computer science degree, but I'm not sure I want to go into this field anymore. I get so burned out when I work a computer task that isn't for pleasure. Computers are my medium. My form of expression. To get paid or to truly work with them just leaves me empty inside. I read about a digital graphics minor starting on this campus though, and I'm considering it as a possibility. I'd choke as a math minor, and I haven't had any interest in anything else. I'll just have to look at all my possibilities before I make the decision.
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I've gone through a lot of ideas for my future. From the point when I first had an idea of a future, I wanted to be some sort of artist. For a while, I wanted to pencil comic books. After seeing The Phantom Menace, I quickly started trying to duplicate the special effects and visual effects ILM had created. When I took my first set of college courses during high school, I got exposed to computer animation, and the intense love of visual effects became even greater. For over three years, I studied animation and its aspects. Up until May of this year, all I wanted to do was become a professional animator. I worked a project with a deadline that was a killer. After that, I knew that this wasn't the job for me. I loved it too much to have it driven out of me constantly by deadlines.
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I've considered teaching for some time. There is no doubt that I love computers though, so I've thought about teaching computers. That would be a job with computers, but I think teaching would be worth it. I love teaching people, and some say I'm pretty good at it. Others remind me that I'd be working with people. Then there is the money. The American dream makes people believe they need a lot of money to be happy. Maybe it's true, but I'd like to think not. This life is the only one I get, and I'd like to make the most of it, and make some sort of difference in people's lives. Maybe that is another part of the American dream. The part that makes us think we will somehow matter in this world. Who really knows? There is just a nagging feeling though. I am stacking up 3000 dollars in bills every year while I go to college. I wasn't smart enough to get a scholarship, so I mostly pay my own way. It works better that way. I feel like for the first time ever I'm really doing something with my life, even if it's not exactly what I want to do just yet. I feel like now that I'm rolling, turning directions won't be so hard to do, and I know I still got time for options.
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Posted by
Adam
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